If you read this blog, then you know that my new goal is to become a midwife.
I have always been interested in pregnancy, birth, and post partum concepts. Always so curious. Researching and digging into all that I could find.
One of the things I've been most interested in recently is PPD or Post-Partum Depression.
Did you know 1 in every 8 women experience PPD? And many suffer in silence. I can't imagine living with that pain on your own (but then I can imagine it, bc/ I have so much pride that I'm sure I would think I can do it on my own, I would have such fear of being a burden, and fear of being judged as a mess, etc).
I have known many more than 8 women (mothers) in my life. My heart breaks knowing that some of them have gone through this. I've only known 1 woman who really asked for help, she was in my ward, and she needed someone to stay with her at all times so she wouldn't hurt the baby or herself. The women in my ward took turns staying with her, and I felt so blessed to be trusted enough to be invited into her home to care for her and her new child.
Some of the physical symptoms of the depression are:
- Not being able to sleep (when you have the chance).
- No appetite / not being able to keep food down.
- And a lot of other symptoms of depression.
Some of the big feelings that result from the depression are:
- Anxiety that stems from everything and nothing.
- Guilt about not being a good enough wife and mother.
- Jealousy of other, happy, moms.
- Feeling like you are a monster, like you are a truly horrible person for thinking some of your thoughts.
- Distrust of doctors/psychiatrists/your spouse/friends/etc
- Shame
- Anger
If you found yourself here because you are experiencing PPD, just know that you are not alone. You are not the first person to think the thoughts that you are having. There are support groups you can go to, if you want. Please know that it will get better.
If I know you, or if I don't know you, please know that you can reach out to me, and I would be ecstatic to do anything I can for you. Even if it is just your dishes or a shoulder to cry on.
I have always known that PPD might be an issue for me, because of my history with anxiety and depression. I'm actually quite grateful that I've experienced and worked my way through depression in the past, so that if it decides to show up now, I (and others around me who know I'm at risk) can recognize it. I can't imagine trying to deal with it for the first time when a tiny human life is depending on me.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important issue that's overlooked much too often. Thanks for writing this.