Legacy

Yesterday was crazy.  Busy.  Crazy.  Fun.

As I was driving home I was singing to myself, and I suddenly realized that, while I love to sing, I've never written a song.  Not even a short burst of lyrics...

I never had the confidence to even try.

And then I thought of W.W. Phelps.  Though I highly doubt that music can run in a person's 'blood,' if it does, then I have a good chance at coming up with... something... (I know I got plenty of his less desirable traits), and I have music on the other side of the family as well.

I told myself, you've been learning music your whole life - you should at least try.  There is no risk, you don't have to share it and be mocked.  Also, since you have to sit here driving anyway, then you won't be wasting time...

So, I started experimenting with my own tunes and lyrics - instead of ones that I've been memorizing my whole life.  I didn't get very far, only a few repeated lines that meant a lot to me, but likely no one else.

But I decided something.  I can see the influence of my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather's compositions in my own little set of lyrics and music.  He is an interesting person.  Not perfect by any means, and I think I like him more for his mistakes.  His few recorded digressions make him more real, not that idealized version of a person that we typically study after they're gone.  Plus, my family branches off of his unauthorized polygamous marriage... so I can't complain too much, lol.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._W._Phelps_(Mormon)

Conneticut School Shooting

Devastated

That sick horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that won't go away

Walking in a daze

The thought of all those lives that have been.... ruined... senselessly

Friday morning

You don't know anyone who was directly impacted, but sincerely mourning all the same.

I have been pondering what to say ever since I heard.  There is nothing to say that hasn't been said, and there is nothing that can be said that will ever be adequate.

Understanding Conservatives?

Sorry this post is so long.

I don't identify as a democrat, but I definitely and defiantly don't identify as a republican.

Ever since I started realizing how I feel about economics (It's obviously more complicated than this, but I'm am most assuredly a Robin Hood type.  Whether the people hoarding the money and power are government or big corporations, if they are perpetuating poverty and misery, then I would most certainly rob from the rich to feed the poor they are oppressing.)

Ever since I started realizing how I feel about economics, and started debating politics with republicans, I have felt there has to be something I was overlooking.  How could these pleasant people really be so callous and cold-hearted towards the needs of the suffering?  How could they put corporate profits over providing healthcare for adults and children born into poverty, even when confronted with empirical data from other countries that proves universal healthcare isn't going to destroy our country's economic system?  Are all republicans really so cold that they aren't able to see the inherent injustices being perpetuated?  It hurt my heart.  Made me cry, makes me cry, that these people who I care about are so unfeeling, so lacking in basic values.

They (republicans in my life) have never expressed, in a way I understood, those values which they hold in esteem.  It took a study for me to (perhaps) see and understand them a little better.

This study had people identify where they stood in the political spectrum.  Then they were given a test to determine what they would choose when given choices between the following values:

• Harm/care. It is wrong to hurt people; it is good to relieve suffering.
• Fairness/reciprocity. Justice and fairness are good; people have certain rights that need to be upheld in social interactions.
• In-group loyalty. People should be true to their group and be wary of threats from the outside. Allegiance, loyalty and patriotism are virtues; betrayal is bad.
• Authority/respect. People should respect social hierarchy; social order is necessary for
human life.
• Purity/sanctity. The body and certain aspects of life are sacred. Cleanliness and health, as well as their derivatives of chastity and piety, are all good. Pollution, contamination and the associated character traits of lust and greed are all bad.

Now, I don't have to take the test to tell you where I stand in this spectrum:
Harm/Care is my leading value which, when I honestly view all the other traits, will always take priority.  Since it is my leading value, I feel that it is obvious why, and that it needs no explanation, which is probably a mistake on my part.  I feel it is very obvious that hurting people is wrong, and helping people who are suffering is good.  I also think this is something that is largely recognized in religion (so I don't understand why so many 'Christian republicans' don't feel the same way).
Purity/Sanctity is a close second, and, to me, these first two go hand-in-hand.  For example, I feel that the sanctity of human life is one of the reasons why Harm/Care is so important.  The description of this trait illustrates my views very clearly, it is right on point in every aspect.  I would like to add that I have a STRONG negative view towards greed, I don't just think that it is 'bad.'
Fairness/Reciprocity is next, and it is usually rated higher for liberals, which is why I think I'm constantly getting senseless arguments from republicans who are arguing against the logic of fairness, when I really don't disagree with them as much as they think I do.  However, I do think it is important to have justice, and I don't think it's right that workplace pay is so skewed in a man's favor, etc.
-------------
This is where the scale starts to tip.  These last two values are almost negatively viewed in my eyes, and they are typically the top values for republicans.  Which helps me understand... why I don't understand them.
-------------
In-Group Loyalty.  It takes a lot, and I mean, A LOT for me to become loyal to a group.  Growing up I feel like I was betrayed by people (who I should have been able to trust) on such a regular basis that I learned that no one will ever be loyal to me.  So why should I be loyal to them if they are going to betray me as soon as it benefits them?  Also, I don't think that belonging to a group automatically makes opposing groups bad, and I don't view opposing groups as threats we need protection from, rather as organizations we can maybe learn from.
Authority/Respect.  Honestly, I despise the existence of a social hierarchy.  I think of myself as someone who isn't a "respecter of persons," meaning that I try to treat everyone with the same amount of love and respect, and if you think I should give you extra respect because of your position you are sorely mistaken.  You WILL NOT get extra deference or respect from me simply because you're my boss, my boss's boss, or the president of the United States.  Come to think of it, this is probably one of the reasons why I haven't succeeded in the business world...
There is an interesting story regarding this that I'll post in a different post someday.

So... It might not sound like it... but I'm trying to understand (despite my bull-headedness).  It would be great if some of the republicans in my life (and anyone else!) could tell me if they think this study is accurate, and list their values and reasons in order of importance.

http://www.psmag.com/culture/morals-authority-3775/

The Hobbit

YA!!!!

Going to The Hobbit tonight!!!

YA!!!

I have to admit something.  Today I was watching some of The Hobbit trailers (again), and Gandalf is asked, "Why the halfling?" and he answers, "Because I'm afraid, and he gives me courage."  ... and ... I almost started crying...  Go ahead, make fun of me.

People at work were stunned yesterday when they found out James and I weren't going to be 1st in line for the premier last night.  

They asked about our hobbit costumes.

No, we don't have hobbit costumes...  (James is racist against hobbits - he prefers dwarves, just ask him)

We do have a lot of the makings for Eowyn and the Witch King, but we haven't worked on those costumes for a while...

I heart Eowyn.  I have a girl crush on her.  She is the woman I wish I could be.  

"I am no man!"

AND... Some Eowyn quotes:

ARAGORN: Your duty is with your people. EOWYN: Too often have I heard of duty. But am I not of the House of Eorl, a shieldmaiden and not a dry-nurse? I have waited on faltering feet long enough. Since they falter no longer, it seems, may I not now spend my life as I will? ----- ARAGORN: What do you fear, lady? EOWYN: A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recalls or desire.

Hmm... this started out as a hobbit post...

Readers

I have a strange obsession with this blog lately

I REALLY LIKE IT

It's an addiction

I'll be sitting at home, work, school, church, etc...  and I'll think, I should blog about this

Then I'll think, nah, I've already blogged today, don't want to bore people

And I'll check the # of readers

And the comments


Sometimes I'll be reading someone else's blog, and I'll want to comment, but I hesitate...  Afterall, I've already commented recently... don't want to be a creeper...  feel like I'm the only one commenting...  what if they don't like my comment...  They'll know I was blog-stalking them...

Anyway, I just thought I'd put that out there, see if anyone else ever feels that way.  Also, I'd just like to say, as a newly addicted blogger, I think it's awesome every time anyone subscribes to, comments on, or reads this blog.  I promise I won't think you're a creeper  :D

Stocks

You would think that since I have an accounting degree.

And had to take a ton of accounting and financey classes to get said degree....

That I would be able to rock the socks off the stock market.

But I would like to tell you a secret

I feel VERY uncomfortable dabbling with stocks.

Maybe that's because I felt like all that was being said in my classes was, "blah blah blah... companies only care about profits... blah... fraud... blah... lying to stockholders... blah... everyone lost their life savings except the CEO and CFO who made millions, and only had to pay a fine to the courts (plus maybe a little jail time) and are now living free despite all the money they took from all these people...

Just kidding, but not really... lol :'(      Look up the ex-CFO of Enron - I know, right? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Fastow

I was also taught how to reverse analyze a company's financial statements, in a way that reveals a lot of the things the company was trying to hide...

...
YA, the fact you even have to do that, is indicative of the problem.

Anyway.  This semester I had to do a project on a randomly assigned Utah corporation.  Their stock is currently trading at 2 cents, and they're showing some good potential for future growth.  Plus their financial statements seemed pretty straightforward.  So I thought... you know... if I'd randomly waste 3 bucks on some candy (I LIKE CANDY!!!)... then I could buy some of this stock.  Plus... You can't get much worse than 2 cents... the risk is very low.

Turns out very few places want to help you invest $3

Most stock trading websites require like a $500 initial deposit.

What?  Who do you think I am?  Some kind of person with a job and a college degree?

Oh... Wait...

Anyway, I found one place, literally ONE site that had no minimum.  However, each trade has a fee attached of like $10.

T$^%&^%KD&*        

(Yes, I totally just held down shift and randomly hit at my keyboard, a lot more work than just swearing...)

So I looked at the price fluctuations, decided to buy 500 pieces of stock, and typed in what it was trading at (for a total of like $20 with the fee)... and it told me I couldn't...

Said I couldn't do a normal trade, I had to do a limit.  WHAT!?!?  How do I not know how to *** buy stock?  I have an accounting degree and don't even know what this stupid website is trying to tell me.  FAIL.

Long story short... I've been trying to figure this out for like 2 weeks.  I have 2 open orders right now, but somehow they still aren't actually going through.  Also, apparently there is an ask and a buy price, and while their buy price is 2 cents, the ask price from the traders is 6 cents.  WHAT!!  That is triple the current trading price.  Seriously.

Anyway, I thought I would write this blog post to say that I really hate the stock market.  Plus, if you know my basic political beliefs, you would know that the whole concept of the stock market is immoral to me... so ya... that doesn't help...  I feel like I'm selling myself out even trying to buy stock.

P.S.  I plainly told them in the entrance survey that our yearly household income is less than $25,000, our net worth is less than $25,000, I've NEVER traded in options, and that I know nothing about trading options - and yet they still approved me for level 2 options trading (options trading can be super risky - basically when you buy stock your losses are limited to the amount you invested, but when you trade in options your potential losses are unlimited).  SERIOUSLY!!!  If I was a bank I would slit my own throat before approving me for even level 1 options trading (which, contrary to what I would assume, is MORE regulated than level 2).  I don't know what is wrong with the banking industry in this country.

Generation Y

I am a member of Generation Y.

This is not by choice.

However, we're a pretty awesome generation if I do say so myself.  We're also known as the Technology Generation and the Millennials.

When we were born, personal computers were hilariously horrible, and just starting to become available to those with a lot of money - now we get our toddlers to sit on the potty by giving them a cheap tablet to play with.

Instead of having to adapt to the changes in technology like the generations before us, we expect and even drive demand for constant technological changes. Unless we're going to be doing programming, we don't feel the need to write our computer qualifications on our resume, because everyone knows how to do that stuff.

We think our childhood cartoons are "the" classic cartoons, and, like the elderly commenting on rap, scoff at the shoddy cartoons of today.

We're much more green than past generations.  One aspect of this is in our transportation choices.  Instead of muscle cars, we want efficiency and quality so that we don't have to waste our money on gas and repairs.  We would actually prefer to not even own a car.  In the cities we're not even bothering to learn how to drive, and we think of cars as financial burdens, not status symbols.

Most of us are closer with our parents than our parents were with their parents.

We are making history with our political involvement.  Turning out in record numbers for elections as well as social and political volunteering.

Our main issue is the economical circumstances surrounding our coming-of-age.

Contrary to popular belief, we work hard, we work very hard.  We are trying to start our careers at a time when unemployment is the highest it has been since the great depression.  We're trying hard to find jobs, but we feel so lost.  We want our lives to go somewhere, we want to make an impact in the world, but we feel like no matter what we try, we'll never be able to succeed, and that is so discouraging.

A lot of us are dealing with the judgments from that generation who is slightly older than our parents.  Those who came of age in the 60's and 70's at the height of American success, and they just can't figure out what's wrong with us.  Entitlement is the word they have decided on - and boy is that rich coming from them...

For us in the states, healthcare costs are epically high, and while we know we should have health insurance, we would also love for someone to tell us how we're supposed to pay for it.

One of my teachers once said, during one of his many ramblings to our class, “Shoulda, woulda, coulda – if you’d been born at a different time, you’d have a job when you graduate, but that’s your parents’ fault.”

What do you think are some traits that define the Millennials?

Funny?

I'm seemingly incapable of being funny.  Why... so.. serious?  See, tried to make a joke there - lame!

This is something I love about my husband.  He is actually funny, and he somehow thinks that I am sometimes funny.

James will take your lame joke and raise you an actual joke (making you feel like your lame joke was funny in the first place), and if you can come up with any kind of funny response to that, he will always have something even funnier just waiting in the rafters.

I can say that I am truly jealous of those who are able to make jokes so easily, and I'm grateful for them.  Life would be pretty lame without laughs.

This is my new goal.  I'm going to do more funny posts.  Well... I'm going to TRY to do some funny posts... I figure if I fail really badly, then it'll be so bad that it's funny.

Extreme weight loss program

Make twiggy proud.

Struggling to lose those extra 10 pounds?

Really Really wishing that you could rock that pale albino/sunken skull look all the cool anorexic kids are rocking?

With just 3 easy payments of $999,999.99 I will personally allow you to read my simple 100 step program to lose 10 lbs in 3 days and look like you are on the edge of death.

Now, this is the honor system people.  Just go to my paypal account, send me the first installment of $999,999.99, and then you can keep reading.



Have you sent it yet?



Seriously, you need to pay me to keep reading.



 Keep reading for all the awesome details to my 150 step program!

1. Get a UTI.  Now now, I know this is rather unfair to my male customers.  I can hear the sexist outcries already.  It's true, UTI's are a dime a dozen with females, but much harder for males to obtain.  Sorry?

2. Now you lucky lucky person, stay away from Vitamin C, Cranberries, and Vitamin D.  We want that immune system down and that bladder infected ASAP.  Other things you can do to speed the process along is eat tons of sugar and caffeine.

11. Do you feel like you're peeing fire?  Good.  Maybe running to the bathroom a little too late?  GREAT! 

27. Now, don't worry if you've accidentally started taking Vitamin C and Cranberry pills at this point, you're past the point where they will do anything.

82. Wait a while, definitely don't go to the doctor, I'm sure you're body will take care of it on its own.

99.  Feeling any back pain yet?  It should feel like someone is stabbing you in the kidney.  Also good signs are a high fever (mine was usually between 103 and 104) and nausea.  (nausea isn't a necessity though, it worked just fine for me without it!)  You might also be shivering/shaking so violently that you can't safely drive.  At this point it would probably be a good idea to drive 20 min to class.  Get lots of exposure to the elements, experiment with shifting gears when you can't control your hand's convulsions...  You know, really have fun with it.

113. Now, this is really important.  Don't go to the doctor.  Tough it out.  You can do it.  Doctors and antibiotics are for pansies.  Let that infection get into your blood stream.  Go into sepsis, c'mon! I dare you!

136. Now that you've been septic for a couple days, and it's actually a wonder you're still alive, you can go to the doctor.  I know what you're thinking.  You probably would think you were already dead, if it weren't for all of the torturous pain your body is in.  How in the world do I expect you to move your legs, let alone get out of bed and go outside?  Well, just do it, OK?

149. LOL, the doctor wants a urine sample, HA, that's not happening.

173. Probably just zone out while the doctor is ripping you a new one for waiting so long to come to the doctor.  Then take the antibiotics.

200.  Wait... It's going to get worse before it gets better.

201.  Congratulations!  Sepsis has helped you lose those extra stubborn pounds.  However, now that you're well, and your body has eaten all of it's muscle, all you really are is flab.  and boy are you HUNGRY!!!  Don't be surprised if you quickly gain back all that you have lost and more!

Giving Thanks

I'm thankful for James!!! 
I'm thankful for the love of God, the blessings of the spirit, and for religious freedom. 
I'm thankful for educational grants. 
I'm thankful for indoor heating and plumbing.  
I'm thankful for social programs such as libraries, public highways/freeways, firefighters, and police. 
I'm thankful for good health. 
I'm thankful for a family who loves me. 
I'm thankful for the good and bad life experiences which have made me into the person I am today.
And lets be honest, I am thankful for break from work and school which is provided to me via the Thanksgiving holiday.

I went on a job as an extra the other day.  It was a lot of fun.  It reminded me how much I love doing jobs that have to do with my creative side.  Acting, singing, modeling, makeup...  It's odd that I've seemingly been building this side-career for the last decade.  I keep coming back to it.  It's like playing for a job.

Stage and special effects makeup is definitely on the list of things I could spend the rest of my life doing.

What to do...

I've been brainstorming.

If I am going to dedicate the rest of my working life to a career, then the career I choose better be worthy of my life.

I want to make a difference, help people, enjoy myself, and lastly make enough money to survive.

I started out thinking that if I could be anything, no limits to time, money, etc., what would I want?

I would be a doctor, and I would want to join Doctors Without Borders.  Spend my life serving those in 3rd world countries who don't have access to medical care.

However...  James isn't on board with living in 3rd world countries... I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I'm sure my family also wouldn't want me spending my life in unstable countries with little access to communication...

That led to a discussion of what James wants to do, really wants to do...  and that led to our planning of our current *super secret project* which involves us becoming entrepreneurs.

If there is something that truly terrifies me, it is the thought of becoming an entrepreneur.   Don't ask me why.  But since I've spent my life fighting those things that scare me, I'm putting on a brave face.  Even though I would rather be a soldier in WWI.

So we're working on making that happen...

Meanwhile, I still have to figure out my dream.

On the Doctors Without Borders website...   YES, I know we already ruled that out...
On the Doctors Without Borders website they list the professions urgently needed:

    - Anesthesiologists/Nurse Anesthetists
    - HIV/AIDS and TB Specialists
    - Nurse Midwives/Certified Midwives
    - Obstetricians/Gynecologists
    - Pharmacists

Being a midwife would give me that fulfillment that I'm missing in accounting.  I know I wouldn't have any problems with any of the *bodily fluids* involved, and I would love to help women have more of a choice when it comes to birthing options.  I am also intellectually intrigued by this area of medicine.

Another option is definitely becoming an EMT.  Once again, I know I can handle the gore, and I know I keep a cool head in emergencies.  I have been self-educating in emergency medicine for at least 5 years (for the sake of preparedness).  I would love to learn more, and I would really enjoy being a first responder.  I would be ok with being on call and working graves as well. 

Stumble

This person who I have made, who everyone thinks I am.  This person who I have dedicated so much time, money, and effort into creating...  I'm realizing I'm not that person.  I'm worried for the first time in a long time about disappointing people, and I feel like a failure for even thinking about giving up on this path...



I never EVER saw myself going to graduate school.

As a first generation graduate, even graduating with a Bachelors degree was something that was potentially “out there.”  The original goal was maybe an Associates degree.

Now, by following the path I put my feet on, being incredibly stubborn, having a lot of support from those who love me, and having many blessings come my way, I have found myself not just in graduate school, but with even a small scholarship to help out with the cost.

But I feel lost.  Empty.

I’ve always been a firm believer that you make your own happiness.  You’ll never be happy if you’re constantly looking back or forward to a time of potential happiness.  Have goals, but live in the now.  Decide to be happy, and you will be.  It’s worked for me in the past…  But maybe my goals just need to change.

My psychologist recommended that I look at a list of Masters degrees and decide if that's really the Masters program I want to be in...  That was the first time I even considered that not becoming an accountant was even an option at this point.

I never EVER saw myself going to graduate school.  I never thought I was good enough or smart enough or connected enough or had enough money to ever even think about graduate school.  I never even thought I was smart enough to get a Bachelors degree.

If it weren’t for accounting, if I didn’t need this to qualify, I wouldn’t be here (despite my love of school).  

So... what do I want to be when I grow up?

Shrink

My grandma has bipolar paranoid schizophrenia.

For some unknown reason I have never thought of it as a very big deal (I actually think it is funny).  Maybe I've never had a problem with it because she has never targeted me.

When she isn't taking her medication she is a lot more interesting...  She has even been known to tell a dirty joke or two *gasp*

I was on some random health website, probably researching my ankle fiasco, when I saw a link titled "early warning signs of schizophrenia."  Thinking this would be HILARIOUS, I clicked it, and discovered I have a lot of them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not schizophrenic... (or am I?  Thinking you're not schizophrenic is one of the signs of schizophrenia!)  How confusing is that?  Now you probably think that YOU TOO are, aren't, are, aren't, are, aren't schizophrenic as well.

I jokingly told James that I'm schizophrenic and he laughed, then I read him the list of early warning signs, and he laughed... less... LOL

Anyway, the point is that I fit into so many of the categories I figured something might actually be wrong with me.  So I signed up for the (free!) counseling services on campus.  A month later I went in to see my new (doctoral student) shrink.

He decided I was depressed and recommended pills.  I said no.  He said I should change my Masters program to something else, I said I'd consider it.  He said I should watch two videos on ted.com, I agreed to that.  They were pretty good videos. 

http://www.ted.com/speakers/brene_brown.html

Anyway, I don't think my psychologist thinks I'm schizophrenic, so that's good.

Jobs

I just finished recruiting season at Weber State University.

I know a lot of people who got jobs from it.

I worked really hard and dedicated a lot of time to it.

I had a lot of employers tell me I had a good chance.

However, I didn't get even one job offer.

Fail.

Halloween

I love Halloween.

I love making gory special effects with makeup.

I love making costumes.

On Saturday we went to a party I was a zombie, and James was Link.

Today we're going to our ward party as Leia and Han.

Last year James was Boba Fett and I was Aurra Sing.

I don't know what we'll be tomorrow.  Not that it matters, we've never had trick-or-treaters at our house... :(

One of our first years of marriage we put together an ewok costume for a (yet unknown) little one.  I'm excited to one day subject our prodigy to our nerdyness.

NPR?!?!?

Martha Hughes Cannon.  I wish I was related to her (as far as I know I'm not).  Turns out she is pretty awesome.

I accidentally left the Ipod at home this morning.  Usually I'm just fine driving in silence, but today something prompted me to turn on the radio.  

Flipping through channels, trying to find one that wasn't playing ads (the usual reason I abstain from the radio), I found myself on Utah's NPR 

... wait... UTAH'S NPR?!?!?  That even exists?!?!  

Raging within me the battling forces of curiosity and abhorrence of talk radio each fought to gain control.

I kept listening.

They briefly gave a shout out to their sponsor - a library and literacy something or other... WHAT?!  Maybe this isn't all bad...  Their sponsor has to do with reading...

Anyway - aside from the world news... WORLD NEWS, I love world news! - and not one mention of the drivel that is celebrity news... 

They were talking about a new documentary about Martha Hughes Cannon.  Suffragist, physician, polygamist, and Utah's first female state senator.  She even ran as the democratic ticket against her husband who was the republican ticket!  This is my kind of woman.  The women talking about her didn't seem to understand some of her complexities, but somehow I feel I understand her very well.  Maybe I'll get to meet her in another life.

Warning to blog readers

This is my first post. 

I suppose this is where I warn you - there will be very little talk of frogs or snails.  I'm just weird like that.

I will probably not post regularly for any long period of time (just ask my journal).

I will probably offend plenty of people.  Not on purpose, but some people just don't like how blunt I am.

You probably won't like my blog if you don't like to read books.

I like math, I really like math, and accounting - so sometimes I might talk about that. BORING, I know...

I'm pretty nerdy... like make-obscure-Star-Wars-costumes-for-Halloween-nerdy.

I'm LDS, and I'll talk about that.  I also like learning about other cultures.

I'm pretty lousy at compliments - giving or receiving, just assume I find you beautiful inside and out, because I do.
I consider myself your friend, even if you totally hate me... I do strange things to help people I don't even know, so if you need help, or if one day you're thinking about how lonely you are, you can call me out of the blue, and I'll think it's completely normal, and feel privileged that you turned to me in your need.

P.S.  One of the things I despise the most is the censorship of ideas.  I think I've always hated it, even before I knew what it was called.  I remember being in the car with my dad while he was listening to Limbaugh (at that time I thought I was a Republican - HA!)  I didn't really understand what was being talked about.  But when someone called in and was presenting a well thought out counter argument, and Limbaugh hung up on them; I understood exactly what had happened, and it made me sick.  So one promise is that I will never delete comments - whether you agree with me or not, and I won't get offended.  Please try to stay on topic though...