Cooking with tofu (aka, some yummy vegetarian porcupine 'meat'balls)

When we first started going vegetarian, I think TOFU was the most stressful thing about it.  I tried cooking the little cubes, and they turned out so spongy and bland.  I would try making things like 'meat'loaf and 'meat'balls, and they would turn into an all-day-affair.

Last night we threw these (and the spaghetti) together in about 30 minutes.  James made the spaghetti, set the table, and washed dishes - he's awesome like that - he also took the photo (coming soon lol).

You know how your grandma makes things... just randomly dumping things into a bowl and coming up with a masterpiece?  A somewhat lack of measuring and more intuition-based?  I kinda do the same thing, except I have to do my research.  I go online and look up a bunch of the same kinds of recipes, compile their similarities, and then do my own thing.  That is what this recipe will look like.  Sorry in advance.

When I'm making 'meat' dishes with tofu there are a few basic staples that I like to use.

• Usually you want to use firm or extra-firm tofu for these types of dishes (I work with the 14oz, GMO-free block that you can find almost everywhere).  Drained and pressed.
• A medium white or yellow onion, fully mulched by our tiny food processor. (I prefer the texture that comes with a whole fresh onion - it sounds like a lot, but don't worry, you need the whole thing).
• A binder (usually that means an egg - sorry vegans, do you have a better idea?)
• Something to thicken it up (I prefer breadcrumbs)
• Spices (plenty, like double what you would usually use for a meat dish)

Other things that I like to put in depending on the dish (or if I have them):

• MUSHROOMS - I love mushrooms.  Break them into smallish pieces.
• Grated carrots or small pieces of celery - adds texture and taste (you can saute them first if you really want to work extra hard, might as well throw in the onion and mushrooms while you're at it...)
• Uncooked instant rice
• Quick-oats (a good thickener for the gluten-intolerant - obviously you have to use gluten free oats if that is your reason)
• A clove (or two) of fresh garlic

And now, what you've all been waiting for:

Porcupine 'Meat'balls 'Recipe'

Ingredients:

• 1 14oz block firm or extra firm tofu
• 1 medium white onion
• Spices (in this case, they were to go with spaghetti, so I leaned toward Italian spices).
• Salt/Pepper
• Parsley
• Basil
• Garlic Powder
• Worcestershire sauce
• Thyme
• Oregano
• 1 egg
• 2/3 C. uncooked instant rice
• aprx.  1 1/2 C. italian flavored breadcrumbs

Steps

1. Start the tofu draining/pressing.  This is pretty fun.  Build a really precarious tower.  Mine (from the counter up) usually goes: A plate (to catch the mess), the upside-down tofu container (as something for the liquid to drain down), the block of tofu, another plate (to distribute the weight), and a couple random cans of food (for weight).
2. Peel and cut the top and bottom off of your onion.  Chop it into smaller pieces so it fits into your food processor.  Destroy it in your food processor (usually I end up with a liquidy pulp).  Put it in a bowl.
3. Add your spices to the onion, if you're used to cooking with meat, add more spices.
4. Get your tofu (you should have at least a 1/4 c. of liquid on the bottom plate by now).  Carefully squeeze it a little more (it will start falling apart).  Put it in with your onion and spices and mix it (I use my hands).  Taste it - go ahead, it's perfectly safe - no e-coli in these meatballs.  Add more spices if needed (bland is not going to be fixed, you want it highly tasty at this point - probably even a little stronger than you prefer).
5. Add the egg and rice.  Mix in the breadcrumbs 1/2 cup at a time until you can form balls that hold their shape well.
6. Heat a little olive oil on MEDIUM heat, and drop them in, turning as each side gets brown.  It made about 20 for me.  We only cooked 8 (4 each was plenty when combined with spaghetti), I formed the rest into balls and put them in the freezer.