Elizabeth Smart

A lot of people remember Elizabeth Smart's abduction.  I feel like I remember it more clearly than most things that were happening at that time.  Mainly because of what we had in common: she is only a few months younger than me, I had lived in SLC for a while, we are both Mormon.  I remember fasting and praying for her, despite a clear understanding of what I was sure had happened to her.  I wanted to help look for her, but I knew no one would let me.

I remember the claims of news agencies that the evidence shows she just ran away, and that her sister was either covering her tracks or looking for attention.  I admired the strength of her sister to try her best despite so much public scrutiny and despite everyone second-guessing her (and telling her it wasn't enough).  I remember when her father was a suspect, and how the people around me also started to blame him (either outright - accusing him of murder, or round-about - it's his fault for letting all those ruffians into his house).  I remember how some people around me still blame him...

I have followed her closely, not in a seeking-after-celebrity way - but out of a genuine interest in how she was doing, since she survived.  I've wanted her to continue being okay.  When she was found I searched for pictures and information, but everything was kept very private.  I was always trying to find out more about her.  After she testified in court I would look up the new information, and I would look up pictures to see if she looked happy.  When she got married I looked for pictures and information as well.  There was a little bit of guilt though, because I didn't want to invade her privacy.

I recently went with my mom to Evanston's Healthy Woman Conference.  This is the second year in a row she has bought tickets for us.  This year, Elizabeth Smart was the speaker.  She did a great job, and I'm really glad that she told us her story.  When something bad happens to us, it is often hard to talk about it.  It really takes courage to invite people into the dark corners of our existence.

Grateful

Necklace I made for my grandma

I've made a friend recently.  I have several personality traits that can make me hard to be around, so I'm grateful for every new friend.

One day when I helping out at a local assisted living center, a patient showed the CNA one of her necklaces, it was broken, and she wanted it fixed.  I observed that it was a really easy fix, and told her that I would bring my jewelry pliers next time I came.

Well, it turned out that a lot of her jewelry was broken.

Luckily, I adore making and fixing jewelry.

The next time I came we sat for several hours.  She organized her jewelry, and set aside the things that needed fixing, and I repaired what I could (considering I had only brought my mini pliers).

While we sat we talked.  Her body betrays her, but you can tell that her regrets cause a lot more pain than her physical body does.  She has made a lot of changes in her life, but you can tell she feels like they came too late.  Her children blame her for a lot of their problems, and you can tell she agrees with them.  They openly shame and reject her for her earlier choices, and she feels like she deserves the way they treat her.

She is trying, despite her struggles, and that's what makes her beautiful to me.

When you're a teen you live by the idea that it is your life, YOLO (you only live once), etc.  I'm sure that everyone made decisions as a teen that they now regret (I know I did).  However, despite my devious desires, I had people around me who cared about me, and helped me to nurture values that kept me from straying as far as I might have.  I'm so grateful that I don't have the same burden of regrets as my new friend.


I'm not very good at remembering to say my morning or nightly prayers, but if I wake up especially grumpy, I'll say a quick and heartfelt prayer asking my Heavenly Father to help me notice all the blessings in my life.  Then as the day progresses, I'll say little prayers of gratitude for the things I've noticed.  This is one of those things.

Spring

Every year around this time I feel like Thumbelina.  I start seeing patches of warm sunlight and I exclaim, "The Sun!  The sun is shining again!!"  Nothing in life has really changed, but because winter is over, there is now hope in the world.

I then proceed to scramble desperately out of the mole hole.