Dying my hair

Decided to do an experiment...

Disclaimer: I've never dyed my hair...  Unless dipping my tips in highly concentrated red coolaid and sealing it in with a curling iron counts... I did that once in high school.  

So please, if you are rather attached to your hair, don't try this at home.

Step 1: 

Spend weeks researching, just to be led to the conclusion that until you do it, you won't really ever know how it will turn out.

Step 2: Choose the Dye! 

I wanted to experiment with lightening my hair, but I didn't want the "bleached blond" look, so I avoided bleach.  I have A LOT of red in my hair, so I knew there was a high probability of it turning orange/yellow.  I knew nothing about brands of dye, etc. So I went to the drug store and bought Revlon ultra light ash blonde lightner/dye (I chose the one that looked platinum blonde on the front, bc/ I knew that it would help counteract some of the yellow/orange that comes from the red in your hair.)  

Step 3: Just Do It!

I started on a Friday night, so that I would have plenty of time to perform emergency fixes when it didn't turn out.

I did it just how they show you in the instructions...  Except I left it on a little longer... I only did so because when it came time to wash my hair, it was looking pretty brassy, so I tried leaving it on for like 3 more minutes... which just made it worse.

It turned out quite a bit brassy (actually, I think SUNSHINE YELLOW is a good way to describe it).  

James said he liked it... That just tells you how crazy it was...

Step 4: Discover Toners

I decided to sleep on it and look at it again in the morning so I would have a fresh view.  

It was still YELLOW.

I did a Google search that was something like: "fix yellow hair"

People talked a lot about toners, and purple shampoo, so I did a search and discovered Sally's Beauty Supply.

Can I just say... That store... How.. I didn't... WOW
I now love Sally's.
I went into the store closest to me, and was given the ultra light ash toner and a 20% developer.

(Funny story: the girl who manages there is (purely by coincidence) named Sally). 

I applied the toner once, and I've been using the purple shampoo/conditioner.

Ya, I know, still pretty yellow!  But that's okay.

Things to do differently next time:

Use a high-quality lightener first.  I've already decided on an oil based lightener that I'll use (I'm not ready to travel down the path of powder bleach...).  The last stuff I used was supposed to bring you down 5 shades, and this new product will bring you down 8 shades.

Right off the bat I'm going to be putting a purple packet into the lightener to counteract the yellows and oranges.  I fully expect the stuff I'll be putting onto my hair will be visibly purple.

I will not dye my entire head of hair again.  Next time it is going to be liberal highlights.  I'm going to rotate different sections, and make a couple batches with different strength developers (probably 20% and 30%) so there are variable shades.

Despite these changes I'm sure I will still end up needing the toner as well.

Les Miserables 2012

Oops, I thought I posted this a while ago...
Warning: This contains spoilers limited to the basic characters and plot.  No specific movie spoilers, just what you would get by reading the wikipedia page for the book.

I have to admit, the CG at the beginning was underdone.  It was hard to get into that scene, and it left me hoping the rest of the movie wouldn't be that distracting.

Thankfully, it quickly redeemed itself.

Two words: Bring Kleenex.  Even if you don't end up using it, it's better than ending up like me...

Despite my best efforts not to, I actually had an audible sob at the end.  I blame my allergies.  :)


Normally, I see something once, I've experienced it, and it's time to move on to the next thing.  Not this.    I've never been able to get enough of Les Mis.  Truthfully, I am OBSESSED, and this movie just made it worse.  I have several Les Mis channels on Pandora... and luckily there are so many different recordings of Les Mis that Pandora thinks they're adding variety, when really they are just giving me the International Symphonic Cast recording or the 2010 Cast recording instead of the Original London Cast recording.  HA!  When they finally start diversifying beyond my taste for the day, then I'll click on my 2010 Cast recording channel, and start them over.


You have no IDEA the self control I demonstrated by not singing along with the songs.

Even though I have a majority of the songs memorized, and a good idea of the plot - I was still on the edge of my seat.  I was also surprised at times.  Can you believe I have never seen it performed live?  That is truly an injustice.

Throughout it all, I wondered... This story has such wide appeal because, like a true artist, Victor Hugo made these people so diverse.  Nearly everyone can relate to a character in one way or another, and everyone interprets the characters differently.  Cosette and Eponine used to speak to me, but not anymore.  Now I've moved into a different part of my life, so which one portrays who I am now?  Who do I relate to?

I knew immediately that I'm not Valjean.  I don't have his quiet courage, his discretion, his strength of character.  

Colm Wilkinson will always be Valjean to me -
2. 4. 6. 0. 1111111111!!!!  - Though, I have no complaints about Hugh Jackman.

-  I'm not the priest who helps Valjean (played by Colm Wilkinson!!!), even though I try so hard, so hard, to be that person.  He is the only character that I WISH I was.  I'm still selfish, and sometimes attached to my worldly possessions (despite how that attachment disgusts me).  Fearful that I'll give away too much, not have enough left for the people I love.  But also I want the financial freedom to sometimes do what I want, like go out to eat, though I feel a stab of guilt for wasting money that could help someone...





-  I'm not Javert, so unerringly honest, loyal, and dedicated to his interpretation of what is right.  However, I LOVED Russell Crowe as Javert!  His voice was so unique (some people just say he can't sing, but I think his voice was perfect for the part).

-  I'm not Marius.  I never realized how much I dislike Marius... there are parts that made me like him again temporarily, but overall I have a problem with what he represents.  Another reason I could never be Valjean - I can't even forgive Marius for who he represents, though I would still save him...

Some people say he represents man conquering poverty.  He abjures his family's old money and takes pride in earning his own way.  That's good, but he never acknowledges that it was his family's money that got him to that point.  He got to grow up with the education, nutrition, privileges, healthcare, connections, and confidence that comes with having money - which gives him a distinct advantage over those who were brought up in poverty.  And as soon as reality sets in, before the graves of his friends are even cold, he goes running back to the girl and the good life.  I know, I'm probably being a bit harsh...

-  At first I thought that I was the nameless brunette helping to lead the rebellion (far right).  He even has curly hair.  Reckless.  Not the main leader, but also fully dedicated to the cause.  Dying with a bang... (PS, his name is Grantaire) - don't you dare say I can't be a boy.

-  Then I saw the women cleaning up the blood, and realized I also deeply felt their need to cradle the reckless boys who fought.  I also observed the nurses in the hospital, quietly tending - shocked that people would be fighting so near the defenseless.
-  I am part Fantine.  I would give everything that I am and more to help my child survive.  I think that I've always known this about myself, and it terrifies me.  Being so completely responsible for, and tied to, another human being.  Along with the knowledge that there is very rarely a Valjean, and if I failed, there would be no one to pick up the pieces.  I fail, I fail a lot, I'm growing more okay with my failures, but I can't bear the thought of failing my child.



On a side note... I completely adored Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter as the Masters of the House!

CRAZY!!

I want you to know, my blog followers, that I've been thinking about you.

I am sorry I haven't posted in a while, and that is really weird.  I never thought I would feel sorry for not posting on a blog.

I also miss doing this.

I've started writing several blog posts, but I haven't finished them.  I was actually shocked just now when I discovered I hadn't published my Les Miserables movie review yet.

This week has been crazy.

To prove it to you, I shall provide you with my schedule:

8:00 AM:  Leave for work

4:30 PM:   Get off of work

5:00 PM:   CNA class starts

10:00 PM: CNA class gets out

Except on Wednesday, when I get out of work a little early so that I can go do cub scouts from 4pm to 5pm (and be a little late to the CNA class).

SCHOOL

Also, school started... so in every spare minute I'm learning things for my classes.  I'm taking Organic Chemistry and lab online (5 credit hours), and the first class in a combined Anatomy/Physiology and lab online (4 credit hours).  I converted the lectures to MP3 format, and listen to them in the car.  During breaks/lunch at work I log in and start completing some of the homework.
These classes are going to be much more time intensive than I originally thought.  Luckily I'm really good with memorization (according to lumosity.com it's the only thing my brain is good at - my memorization is more than double any of the other skills).

JAMES
Once the CNA class finishes at the end of January everything should be less cramped.  And James will be less neglected.

I miss James.  This has been a hard week mainly because 2 weeks ago I had tons of time off of work and we were spending every waking hour together, and now we have no time together.  :'(

Luckily the CNA class isn't on Fridays, so on Friday we can finally go on a date!!!!

Legacy

Yesterday was crazy.  Busy.  Crazy.  Fun.

As I was driving home I was singing to myself, and I suddenly realized that, while I love to sing, I've never written a song.  Not even a short burst of lyrics...

I never had the confidence to even try.

And then I thought of W.W. Phelps.  Though I highly doubt that music can run in a person's 'blood,' if it does, then I have a good chance at coming up with... something... (I know I got plenty of his less desirable traits), and I have music on the other side of the family as well.

I told myself, you've been learning music your whole life - you should at least try.  There is no risk, you don't have to share it and be mocked.  Also, since you have to sit here driving anyway, then you won't be wasting time...

So, I started experimenting with my own tunes and lyrics - instead of ones that I've been memorizing my whole life.  I didn't get very far, only a few repeated lines that meant a lot to me, but likely no one else.

But I decided something.  I can see the influence of my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather's compositions in my own little set of lyrics and music.  He is an interesting person.  Not perfect by any means, and I think I like him more for his mistakes.  His few recorded digressions make him more real, not that idealized version of a person that we typically study after they're gone.  Plus, my family branches off of his unauthorized polygamous marriage... so I can't complain too much, lol.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._W._Phelps_(Mormon)

Conneticut School Shooting

Devastated

That sick horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that won't go away

Walking in a daze

The thought of all those lives that have been.... ruined... senselessly

Friday morning

You don't know anyone who was directly impacted, but sincerely mourning all the same.

I have been pondering what to say ever since I heard.  There is nothing to say that hasn't been said, and there is nothing that can be said that will ever be adequate.

Understanding Conservatives?

Sorry this post is so long.

I don't identify as a democrat, but I definitely and defiantly don't identify as a republican.

Ever since I started realizing how I feel about economics (It's obviously more complicated than this, but I'm am most assuredly a Robin Hood type.  Whether the people hoarding the money and power are government or big corporations, if they are perpetuating poverty and misery, then I would most certainly rob from the rich to feed the poor they are oppressing.)

Ever since I started realizing how I feel about economics, and started debating politics with republicans, I have felt there has to be something I was overlooking.  How could these pleasant people really be so callous and cold-hearted towards the needs of the suffering?  How could they put corporate profits over providing healthcare for adults and children born into poverty, even when confronted with empirical data from other countries that proves universal healthcare isn't going to destroy our country's economic system?  Are all republicans really so cold that they aren't able to see the inherent injustices being perpetuated?  It hurt my heart.  Made me cry, makes me cry, that these people who I care about are so unfeeling, so lacking in basic values.

They (republicans in my life) have never expressed, in a way I understood, those values which they hold in esteem.  It took a study for me to (perhaps) see and understand them a little better.

This study had people identify where they stood in the political spectrum.  Then they were given a test to determine what they would choose when given choices between the following values:

• Harm/care. It is wrong to hurt people; it is good to relieve suffering.
• Fairness/reciprocity. Justice and fairness are good; people have certain rights that need to be upheld in social interactions.
• In-group loyalty. People should be true to their group and be wary of threats from the outside. Allegiance, loyalty and patriotism are virtues; betrayal is bad.
• Authority/respect. People should respect social hierarchy; social order is necessary for
human life.
• Purity/sanctity. The body and certain aspects of life are sacred. Cleanliness and health, as well as their derivatives of chastity and piety, are all good. Pollution, contamination and the associated character traits of lust and greed are all bad.

Now, I don't have to take the test to tell you where I stand in this spectrum:
Harm/Care is my leading value which, when I honestly view all the other traits, will always take priority.  Since it is my leading value, I feel that it is obvious why, and that it needs no explanation, which is probably a mistake on my part.  I feel it is very obvious that hurting people is wrong, and helping people who are suffering is good.  I also think this is something that is largely recognized in religion (so I don't understand why so many 'Christian republicans' don't feel the same way).
Purity/Sanctity is a close second, and, to me, these first two go hand-in-hand.  For example, I feel that the sanctity of human life is one of the reasons why Harm/Care is so important.  The description of this trait illustrates my views very clearly, it is right on point in every aspect.  I would like to add that I have a STRONG negative view towards greed, I don't just think that it is 'bad.'
Fairness/Reciprocity is next, and it is usually rated higher for liberals, which is why I think I'm constantly getting senseless arguments from republicans who are arguing against the logic of fairness, when I really don't disagree with them as much as they think I do.  However, I do think it is important to have justice, and I don't think it's right that workplace pay is so skewed in a man's favor, etc.
-------------
This is where the scale starts to tip.  These last two values are almost negatively viewed in my eyes, and they are typically the top values for republicans.  Which helps me understand... why I don't understand them.
-------------
In-Group Loyalty.  It takes a lot, and I mean, A LOT for me to become loyal to a group.  Growing up I feel like I was betrayed by people (who I should have been able to trust) on such a regular basis that I learned that no one will ever be loyal to me.  So why should I be loyal to them if they are going to betray me as soon as it benefits them?  Also, I don't think that belonging to a group automatically makes opposing groups bad, and I don't view opposing groups as threats we need protection from, rather as organizations we can maybe learn from.
Authority/Respect.  Honestly, I despise the existence of a social hierarchy.  I think of myself as someone who isn't a "respecter of persons," meaning that I try to treat everyone with the same amount of love and respect, and if you think I should give you extra respect because of your position you are sorely mistaken.  You WILL NOT get extra deference or respect from me simply because you're my boss, my boss's boss, or the president of the United States.  Come to think of it, this is probably one of the reasons why I haven't succeeded in the business world...
There is an interesting story regarding this that I'll post in a different post someday.

So... It might not sound like it... but I'm trying to understand (despite my bull-headedness).  It would be great if some of the republicans in my life (and anyone else!) could tell me if they think this study is accurate, and list their values and reasons in order of importance.

http://www.psmag.com/culture/morals-authority-3775/

The Hobbit

YA!!!!

Going to The Hobbit tonight!!!

YA!!!

I have to admit something.  Today I was watching some of The Hobbit trailers (again), and Gandalf is asked, "Why the halfling?" and he answers, "Because I'm afraid, and he gives me courage."  ... and ... I almost started crying...  Go ahead, make fun of me.

People at work were stunned yesterday when they found out James and I weren't going to be 1st in line for the premier last night.  

They asked about our hobbit costumes.

No, we don't have hobbit costumes...  (James is racist against hobbits - he prefers dwarves, just ask him)

We do have a lot of the makings for Eowyn and the Witch King, but we haven't worked on those costumes for a while...

I heart Eowyn.  I have a girl crush on her.  She is the woman I wish I could be.  

"I am no man!"

AND... Some Eowyn quotes:

ARAGORN: Your duty is with your people. EOWYN: Too often have I heard of duty. But am I not of the House of Eorl, a shieldmaiden and not a dry-nurse? I have waited on faltering feet long enough. Since they falter no longer, it seems, may I not now spend my life as I will? ----- ARAGORN: What do you fear, lady? EOWYN: A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recalls or desire.

Hmm... this started out as a hobbit post...